I have a story about a friend of mine. She vividly remembers the day stress got the better of her. She was six months pregnant and trying to wrap up a major project at work. "I came home and found that my husband forgot to replace the milk, so I wouldn't be able to make mashed potatoes for dinner," she says. "I had been looking forward to those potatoes all day, and I just burst into tears. I was so upset over such a little thing!"
What I want you to know is that reducing stress is absolutely necessary for the expectant mom. If you are pregnant, you should not find yourself stressed out over mashed potatoes! So, see below for a detailed list of stress reducers.
1. Don't take on more than you can handle
Pregnancy is a delicate time when you are feeling tired and riding a roller coaster of emotions. So, don't enhance that stress by taking on extra assignments at work or agreeing to host social events. You need not to give up all responsibilities--just set up a realistic work and social calendar that permits you to get some extra sleep.
In a social setting, you can let friends know that you have been feeling tired and run down. If you are the first amongst your friends to have a baby, this situation may be difficult for them to adjust to, but they will. Good friends will want what is best for you and your baby.
2. Don't worry about what other people think
You've got other priorities right now, and being a mom is the most important job you will ever have. Don't let others tell you differently--or make you feel badly for experiencing pregnancy to its fullest.
You are not being selfish or arrogant by putting your needs first; by doing so, you are in fact, putting your baby's needs first. Remember, a baby has better odds of being happy and healthy if its mommy is happy and healthy.
Do not worry about stepping on people's feelings, especially if they are making inappropriate remarks or offering unwanted unsolicited advice in the first place. Sometimes, people who do that need to be put in their place!
3. Do steer clear of the internet
Yes, it can be very fun to look up baby names and exciting to track the weekly changes in your baby's development. But, it can also be scary if you run across the name of a long, but tragic sounding (and probably contagious) disease or rare, but possible, condition that affects some pregnant women. Most pregnancies are normal with relatively few complications--and most babies are healthy. So, don't get yourself whipped into a frenzy worrying about the remote possibilities of what could go wrong.
Certainly, if you have a legitimate concern, bring it up to your OBGYN, but do not look for things that could go wrong. The Internet has many good uses, but it is too easy to stumble onto Web sites that can make a pregnant woman paranoid.
4. Get support from your spouse
Even if you typically do all the cooking and cleaning, your hubby needs to realize you need help now. You will definitely need it after the baby comes, so he might as well get used to lending a helping hand around the house.
Explain that you need him to start helping you with some of the household tasks, such as loading the dishwasher, cleaning up after the pets or doing the laundry.
Make sure, though, that you let your hubby know how much you appreciate him. He is getting used to a lot of new changes himself, and he deserves your patience as much as you deserve his. Pregnancies are a new learning experience for both of you -- just remember that!
5. Take a class on baby care
When you know what to expect, it eases the stress. Community centers or your hospital should have baby birthing and care classes that you can sign up for free of charge.
Now is a good time to find out what to expect--how to deal with colic, jaundice, a fussy baby, etc. Then, if any of these situations present themselves, you will feel ready to handle them.
Taking classes on baby care also gives you a better sense of being a mom, because you feel like you are doing something you should do. Baby care classes are also a great place to meet other expectant moms and professionals who know how to address all your questions.
6. Don't spend time in the company of negative people
Or those who have to one-up you with their own pregnancy horror stories. Negative people have a way of spreading bad vibes. In any case, no one has a right--or the power--to bring you down.
Try to avoid people who must always have the spotlight on themselves or who constantly have to prove that their situation is worse than yours. As a nice person, you probably politely listen, but there comes a time when enough is enough. If you know someone who constantly has to one-up others, avoid the person or have a ready excuse.
In general, you have to keep your spirits up and not let others suck the energy out of you.
7. Do things for you
Sleep a little later on weekends, splurge on a new maternity outfit or a fancy new perfume. It's OK to do things that make you feel good about yourself, and you need to do this, at least from time to time, for your own mental health.
During pregnancy, your body is going through so many changes--physical and emotional--that you will need to adjust your schedule and lifestyle to what suits you best during this time.
You will be much happier and more agreeable to be around if you are well-rested and refreshed. Plus, you will be more productive when you do work.
In time, you will adjust back to your normal routines (or to new ones), but pregnancy is a delicate time when life is topsy-turvy, so enjoy the freedom to change that this ride gives you.
8. Understand your office's policy on maternity leave
One of the biggest stresses for pregnant women is work. How will I tell my boss I'm pregnant? Will I be able to take maternity leave without my work suffering? That's why it is critical that you understand your company's policy on maternity leave. By law, you are entitled to maternity leave, and if you have saved vacation time, you might also be able to apply that to your maternity leave. So, you cannot be denied maternity leave.
If you have any questions or concerns, you can address them to your company's human resources department. Keep in mind, however, that the HR department is employed to look out for the company's best interests. So, if you have any suspicions about what they tell you, contact an outside source, such as an attorney, for additional consulting.
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