It is unfortunate to know that some men think that the only role they can play in pregnancy is by providing the sperm and once fertilization has taken place, their work is over. Well, that in itself gives one a title-FATHER! But he has got to act like one and indeed be one.
Once your wife becomes pregnant, you are not pregnant yourself and you should not despise what she says she feels. You should understand that there is so much that she cannot be in control of that is happening in her body. This is because of hormonal changes.
Both of you are equally responsible for the child you decided to bring into the world. Just that she got the duty of housing your child as it grows. There is so much you can do for her to show appreciation and your involvement in the pregnancy. I like what a friend of mine once said in reference to the time that the wife was expectant. "...the time we were pregnant" For me it presented deep commitment and involvement and I just loved that.
WHEN THE PREGNANCY TEST IS POSITIVE
Right from this moment, you as a husband should be involved in everything else that follows. You may not have experienced a pregnant woman before. In this case it is not just another pregnant woman, it is your wife and more so, carrying your baby! You may need to start attending childbirth classes. These classes will help you understand her and also know what to do when certain emergencies happen. A greater deal will it help when she is in labor instead of staying all green as your wife goes through the pregnancy.
You will need to also show up for some of the prenatal appointments. At least you may not afford to miss out on the most important ones like the one on the child's first heartbeat and ultra sounds.
GIVE A HAND
While some women are still strong to perform some household tasks even as late as their eighth month of pregnancy, the husband should come in. It does no harm when you help wash dishes or even fix the evening meal. If anything, it makes the wife happier. Providing breakfast in bed would also be a good surprise for the morning.
SPEND TIME TOGETHER
Some men are ashamed of walking beside their wives when in their late months of pregnancy. I do not understand why this should be the case. They should instead be happy that they are just about to be called daddy. Take her out for a stroll and probably jog together back home. Do not forget that she is still your sweetheart and deserves special treatment. Take her out for dinner!
FEEL THE BABY
Try resting your hand on her belly while watching TV or while relaxing in bed. It gives a feeling of concern and suggests saying. 'If only I could help carry the baby' and it brings you almost to the same level.
SHOW INTEREST
You should ask every often how the mother and the baby are doing. When she suggests you go out for shopping, avail yourself unless you are very committed somewhere else. Suggest baby names too. Let it not look like she is the only one too obsessed with that.
WHEN IT IS BABY TIME!
Here, if you took the childbirth classes, you will be better placed as you know how to handle the situation. Before labor, you would talk with your partner and agree to what you would want him to do for you. It is advisable that you are present as your wife delivers. It gives a feeling of oneness. Husbands who have been present during the delivery of their kids have an interesting story to tell and they term it as the best experience in the world. It is good to be there so as to feel with her. Some men say that they cannot stand the process. How then do they expect their wives to go through it? Gone are the days that husbands used to pace up and down the waiting room of hospitals waiting for the doctor to announce "it's a baby girl" or "it's a baby boy". Today, they can get in to where the delivery is taking place.
It is important for the husband to be around so as to:
• Provide encouragement-while it may not be welcome during a tough labor, it is good for him to be there. At least a word of encouragement from him will take the wife miles.
• Help relieve pain- with massage, acupressure or any other means or relieving pain, he should walk with her as many steps through the pain as he can.
• Give updates to family.
ADVICE TO HUSBANDS
• Help your wife in her emotions - She may be scared as you would also apparently be. She needs support and she should draw it from you. You need to encourage her as she goes through the process reassuring her that you love her and that she is doing a good thing for the family.
• Ensure skin to skin contact - as much as possible make sure your body is touching her skin whenever possible. This helps in soothing her and she feels safe. Many partners remove their shirts or all of their clothing and cradle their partners as they are moving through contractions and pushing.
There are very many other roles that husband can play when their wives are pregnant. Even as simple as rubbing her feet! You do not need to go to a school to do that! You simply have to listen to your instincts and be natural. So husbands should not just sit and watch for nine months until the baby comes. Make the most of the opportunity!
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